Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

While emptying a house, have you ever seen something in it that blew your mind?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

You are like me, then.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

If I only have a fire extinguisher to defend myself against some threat from people, should I spray them for max damage or just hit them with the fire extinguishers?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Be who you already are.

Does CloudFlare protect blackhat sites from DDOS attacks?

The sadness was still there.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why do US military soldiers/officers have a chest full of medal ribbons when they probably haven't been in a combat situation? Are the medals for attendance, good behaviour, or long service perhaps?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why after 50 years of being straight do I constantly desire to suck cock?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I had run out of hope.

While on the surface of the moon, why isn’t the Apollo 11 spacesuit inflated like a balloon from the 3.7 psi internal pressure?

It’s still here.

I was tired of fighting.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Is The Switch 2’s #2 Launch Game - Forbes

And the sadness?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.